Letter to My Brother

LETTER TO MY BROTHER

As the year ends,
I am 1000 miles away from you;
I heard the news that made our tears shed,
Yet I said, tomorrow’s start of something new.

You might not know how important you are,
Hearing negative murmurs from people that sucks…
Have hurt you and made you forgot, here we are…
Waiting, willing to listen,catch you if you fall.

Light is at reach, look inside you,
You got the strength you never thought you have,
Despite the strong words they threw you,
Remember the people behind your back.

They’ll stand behind you no matter what,
Loves you unconditionally whatever happens,
And you should never forget that.
You are a good man, brother… You Are.

Don’t make their words affect you,
You’re worth more than they thought,
And you know it, you just got to believe it.

You got hurt because you gave importance to them,
More than you did to yourself,
But you were wrong, and you now know it…
Prove them wrong, let your stars shine this time…

Rise from the pains it caused you,
Don’t just falter and give up,
Carry yourself up, and live your life…
You got everything they don’t have.

Have you realize why they are doing this to you?
Because you have everything they always wanted to.
You got it all that they have to worked hard before getting it,
Yet after all, they can’t still have it.

They want to see you fall and make you miserable,
And if they succeed, they will feel better than you.
Don’t let them succeed, brother. Don’t let them do.
Fight. Get-up. Win the battle you didn’t wish to start.
Finish what they’ve started with victory and triumph.

Contemplating on Life

Reminiscing, contemplating on life how terrible things happened to me in the past…I remember one sad night that I never wanna live, pleading God to take me, as I’ve pleaded hundred of times to stop terrible things that keeps hurting me to come.  It didn’t happen.  I asked so many questions, still unanswered.  I asked myself that night knowing everything will come to an end, “when everything is over, will I want to die still?”…it was unbearable that during those dark times, TIME doesn’t seem to move.

Time during those moments felt like you’re trapped in a quicksand, yet you found a way to get out, it feels like impossible to get out, it keeps pulling you down, draining your emotions, making you feel every single emotions you can feel.  I kept contemplating on life I have, I asked an elder friend who was stand like my second father, Ronnie Cantos… ‘Why it doesn’t stop? Why tragedy after another?‘, and he replied, ‘it’s coming to an end soon, because its pouring’…it made me cry, from that simple answer, it overwhelmed me…and a slight hope came out of me, wanting to be out of all those.

Now, I am here…looking back at that night when I asked myself if I still wanna die when I get out of that situation?  My answer now is, NO.  My life has been a real life roller coaster, a story from a movie that you thought is just a fiction but it happened to me. It happens in reality…and teach you to see a lot of things you’ve never seen. Contemplating on life I have at the moment, I know now the answers to my questions if not all.  It lies within us, we just have to learn accept it, and we will be free.

Deeper Glimpse of Me

As the year 2008 near its end, I want to look back and see once again what this year had offered me, what I’ve learned from life. Not only this year but also from the experiences throughout the years I have lived. What it mold me, what I have become from all of it. I wanna share a deeper glimpse of me, understand where I am coming from…Here’s how I tell my entire story in just a glimpse.

Deeper Glimpse of Me

I was a quiet obedient daughter of a strict and loving parents though without their presence I was a stubborn, strong-willed, brave, funny classmate and student for some. In the working world, I was once the sweet hardworking righteous girl who cries if anything seems so wrong…Though fragile my emotions were I longed for more, I conquered the unknown, the sea, and its beyond… Storms washed me towards the shore of the unfamiliar land… Though my fear was soaring, I had my courage I didn’t believe I have, I went on. I learned how those people live, talk, play, but it seems like I didn’t belong there… People kept wounding me as I kept my calm and just wept, but as I saw it happening, they never wanna stop! And I had to stop them, I fought! And even thought I was mean to, yet I continued to be one because I thought I wasn’t born to cry forever… As time passed, they knew where they should be on me, however, my heart asks for more… I thought I knew what she wants, my heart was filled with unexplainable happiness, and I waited for the words be done. For another time my heart felt alone, it fell from the hands of someone whom I let, take it beyond the shore. I wept and hurt, but I’m determined to get up. Nowhere I was going but now I know where I’m heading… Guide I thought left me, lit up the road where I should be… My pride was washed away by the storms, and the waters drowned my airs… It is now “THE NEW OLD ME”. I learned I needed that to discover myself, so that I will learn how to share the ME inside the shining box. I have to leave the box where I kept myself for a long a time, but I will always keep it and remember how life used to be, what it taught me, and how it is a part of being the new old me. I set my foot forward and be greatful of how wonderful things are after the dark… Confusing life may be, but remember, that “Stars shine its best in the darkest of night”.

Debate on God and Faith

This is INTERESTING CONVERSATION I read from deejames’ blog, and I find it really interesting that made me want to post it on my blog as well.

An atheist professor of philosophy speaks to his class on the problem science has with God, The Almighty.

He asks one of his new Christian students to stand and…..
Professor: You are a Christian, aren’t you, son?
Student : Yes, sir.
Prof: So you believe in God?
Student : Absolutely, sir.
Prof: Is God good?
Student : Sure.
Prof: Is God all-powerful?
Student : Yes.
Prof: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to God to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God didn’t. How is this God good then? Hmm?

(Student is silent.)

Prof: You can’t answer, can you? Let’s start again, young fella. Is God good?
Student :Yes.
Prof: Is Satan good?
Student : No.
Prof: Where does Satan come from?
Student : From…God.. .
Prof: That’s right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?
Student : Yes.
Prof: Evil is everywhere, isn’t it? And God did make everything. Correct?
Student : Yes.
Prof: So who created evil?

(Student does not answer.)

Prof: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don’t they?
Student :Yes, sir.
Prof: So, who created them?

(Student has no answer.)

Prof: Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son…Have you ever seen God?
Student: No, sir.
Prof: Tell us if you have ever heard your God?
Student : No , sir.
Prof: Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelt your God? Have you ever had any sensory perception of God for that matter?
Student : No, sir. I’m afraid I haven’t.
Prof: Yet you still believe in Him?
Student : Yes.
Prof: According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your GOD doesn’t exist. What do you say to that, son?
Student : Nothing. I only have my faith.
Prof: Yes. Faith. And that is the problem science has.
Student : Professor, is there such a thing as heat?
Prof: Yes.
Student : And is there such a thing as cold?
Prof: Yes.
Student : No sir. There isn’t.

(The lecture theater becomes very quiet with this turn of events.)

Student : Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don’t have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can’t go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.

(There is pin-drop silence in the lecture theatre.)

Student : What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?
Prof: Yes. What is night if there isn’t darkness?
Student : You’re wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light , bright light, flashing light….But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and it’s called darkness, isn’t it? In reality, darkness isn’t. If it were you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn’t you?
Prof: So what is the point you are making, young man?
Student : Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.
Prof: Flawed? Can you explain how?
Student : Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good God and a bad God.You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure.
Sir, science can’t even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it.

Now tell me, Professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?
Prof: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.
Student : Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?

(The Professor shakes his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the
argument is going.)

Student : Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavour, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher?

(The class is in uproar.)

Student : Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor’s brain?

(The class breaks out into laughter.)

Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor’s brain, felt it, touched or smelt it?…..No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, sir.
With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?

(The room is silent. The professor stares at the student, his face
unfathomable. )

Prof: I guess you’ll have to take them on faith, son.
Student : That is it sir.. The link between man & God is FAITH. That is all that keeps things moving & alive.

NB:
I believe you have enjoyed the conversation. ..and if so…you’ll
probably want your friends/colleagues to enjoy the same…won’t
you?…forward them to increase their knowledge…

Have a nice day.

Am I Just Being Silly or What?

There are some things in our life we can’t control, like heartbeats, situations, accidents…these are just some few things, as well as emotions. For some people, they won’t agree with me saying we can’t control emotions, but we can’t. We can control our actions in response to the emotions we feel, but really you can’t stop yourself feeling it. Either you hide it or not, you’re feeling it.

It’s too bad that sometimes you know its silly to feel some stuff like jealousy, shame, fear, and some stuff that make us feel bad. No matter how hard you try, its just there, its making you feel so bad. What do you do when you feel that bad feeling? Most of the time, you hide it. Lots of time you do, because its silly as they say. In reality, I believe it’s not. I believe you feel it for a reason.

I once read something about it, that life is teaching us through experience, and by experiencing it you feel more, you become part of it. You understand better. It is the emotional impact of something that teach us the real value of it. That’s all.

We learn more from emotions, on whether it makes you happy or sad. One thing is for sure, you’ll remember it more than ordinary things that happens in your life. I was really good dealing with emotions, hiding it all in, but I guess I’m getting rusty on that. ‘Can’t handle too much, I’m almost giving up. Is this how life works? Is this balance? I guess so.

Just another thing, this is why life is beautiful. Yet, I keep wishing to Someone up there…I can’t handle more pain as I’ve felt before, I know it made much stronger but I don’t want to go through it all again or even just the feeling of loss and being left behind. Let me experience happiness than grief, because I have had been through a lot of the latter before. Wishing days will be longer than nights.